the sharpest tool in the thread

Delicious. Please don’t try this with fresh onion; it would completely overpower the wonderful flavour that baby food adds to the dish.

I’m not sure what the holes are for though.  Perhaps it is to make them aerodynamic so guests can frisbee them quickly into the bin and avoid insulting the host?

Try to work out what the word is before reading it in its contextual environment.

Affradessicate: (to dry really frizzy hair)

Ligament: (fibrous tissue that holds bones to other bones)

Comasponite: (prolonged state of unconsciousness caused by being hit by cutlery from outer space)

Cumuffins: (muffins that are decorated with a white glaze and are not well received when one has a hangover)

Introdulance: (…yeah I got nothing. Beginner’s dance class? )

There are two types of people who use the term ‘collateral damage’ in the same sentence as children: terrorists and parents whose children weren’t invited to a party.

Wait, what? Oh, that’s not all parents? Just this nut basket.

To set the scene – a mother posts on a parenting forum about how she had sent out her daughter’s 5th birthday party invitations to all the girls and some of the boys in her daughter’s kindergarten class.  Several days later, the child comes home, distraught, and says that one of the other girls in the class had handed out birthday party invites, and didn’t include her daughter. In fact, she was the only girl in the class not invited.

Any parent who has been in this situation knows how difficult it is to see your child so disappointed, and even though we have the benefit of perspective, know it’s not the end of the world, and this too shall pass, it’s still hard.

Well, most of us have perspective anyway.

*Puts on Suit of Optimism and hopes this woman is joking and just trying to make the OP feel better*

*removes suit once more, looks a little frightened and backs slowly away from crazy parent*

Thanks for your insight. Until this moment I thought that TV was simply a tool of the devil to brainwash young, impressionable minds into believing that our natural leaders are a superior race of oddly shaped colourful creatures with TVs in their tummies (to demonstrate their position on the universe’s hierarchy) whose job is to teach us our new language, as we’ll need it when they invade and liquidate our governments.

Now, when I think back on it, I’ve had many happy conversations with my preschoolers after an episode of Californication. Ah, the questions that come out of that show (daddy, what’s a blumpkin?). It’s a wonderful moment in their lives.

Yeah… if your food colouring causes a chemical reaction which makes it randomly change colour over time, run the fuck away and find something more natural.

Although, if you leave it long enough, it will turn blue.